How to Recover from a Setback Before It Becomes a Story About Who You Are
Why disappointment narrows our world and how connection helps us find our way back
A few years ago, I would have told you that setbacks were primarily about achievement.
A rejected manuscript. A workshop that didn’t fill. A project that stalled. A pitch that went nowhere.
The pain seemed obvious enough: I wanted something to happen, and it didn’t.
Lately, I’ve started to see those moments differently.
When I look back at the disappointments that have stayed with me — the ones that lingered for weeks or months, the ones that made me question myself — it wasn’t usually the event itself that caused the deepest wound.
It was what the event seemed to say about my place in the world.
That nobody cared.
That I wasn’t good enough.
That I had misread the situation.
That I was fundamentally alone in wanting what I wanted.
A failed project rarely feels like just a failed project. A strained friendship rarely feels …
